¤Funny Sms...

Interviewer : Tell me the
opposite of
Good..?
sardar : Bad
Intrv : come
sardr : Go
Intrv : UGLY
sardr : Picchli
Intrv : UGLY??
sardr : Picchli
Intrv : U r wrng
Sardr : I am rite
Intrv : Shut up
sardr : Keep tlkng
Intrv : Get out
sardr : Come in
Intrv : on my God
sardr : on my devil!!
Intrv : U r rejected
Sardr : I am selected ..!

Wife to Husband :-

You don’t Love me at all….

Husband points towards their 2 Children and says –
then do u think I’ve downloaded these from Google?

Shadi Aur Sagaike Bichme Thodasa Samay Kyon Rakha Jata Hai?
Taki Koi Yeh Na Keh Sake Ke Mujhe Durghatna se Bachneka Mauka Nahi Mila...

Shadi mein dulhan ko
ghunghat mein kyun
rakha jata hai…
socho…
socho…
socho..
socho…
nahi pata ?
Taki kisi ke muh se
yeh na nikal jaye ki

Abe yeh toh meri wali
Thi…….


EK Sher BY Doctor=Hoon Mai Doctor Jahan,Meri Wife Hai Nurse Waha,Yeh Kaisa Julm Sehna PADTA Hai,Mujhe Apni Wife Ko SISTER KEHNA PADTA Hai..
___________________________________________________________________________________
Jo Sagar NE Kaha Lehron Se, Jo Ped NE Kaha Patto Se, Jo Phoolon NE Kaha Kaliyon Se, Wohi Main Tumhe Kehta Hun, Aey Chal Chal Hawa Aane De
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Imraan Hashmi Ne Apni Girlfriend Ko Pehle Apna AASHIQ BANAYA Phir Usne CHOCOLATE Main ZEHER Milakar Uska MURDER Karvaya.Girlfriend Ne Uske AKSAR Khwaab Me Aakar Kaha TUM SA NAHI DEKHA To Imraan Hashmi Ne Kaha Is KALYUG Me JAWANI DIWANI Hai.
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HAR KHUSI KO TERI TARAF MOD DENGE, TERE LIYE CHAND TARE TOD DENGE, TERE LIYE KHUSIYON KE DARVAAJE KHOL DENGE, 1 BAAR HAS KE TO DIKHA TERE SAARE DAAT TOD DENGE HA..HA..HA..
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Girlfriend Ko I LUV U Bolna Hai? Balance Khatam ? Ab Kya Karoge ? Kabutar K Gale Mein Bandh K CHITTHI Bhejoge ? Nahi Na………. Main Batata Hoon Kya Karna Hai…. Girlfriend Ka Number Mujhe De Doge Main I LUV U Boldeta Hoon!
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Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua, Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua, Masti Ka Mastaana Hua, Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua
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If Time Doesnt Wait 4 U, Don Worry! Just Remove The Damn Battery From The Clock & Enjoy The Life!
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Teacher: ‘Hello Boys, Remember.. Nothing Is Impossible’
One Student: ‘Ok Sir, U Please Take Out All The Toothpaste & Put It Back In The Tube Again’
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Stupid Questions With Smart Answers….
Boy:May I Hold U R Hand?
Girl:No Thanks Its Not Heavy.
Boy:Plz Say U Love Me..
Gorl:U Love Me..
Girl:If We Get Engaged Will U Give Me A Ring?
Boy:Sure Whats U R Mobile No..
Girl:Darling,I Want To Dance Like This For Ever
Boy:Dont U Ever Want To Improve…
___________________________________________________________________________________
Jo Log Chand Niklnay Ka Intezar Kar Rahy Hain
Un
K
Liye
Arz Hai K
.
.
Wo Aaram
Karain
Kyon
K
.
.
.
Mera Aaj Ghar
Say
Bahar
Nikalnay
Ka
Koi
Irada
Nahi….
___________________________________________________________________________________
Wen I Was Sad; U Were Thr…
Wen I Was Crying; U Were Thr…
Wen I Was Unhappy; U Were Thr…
Ab Mujhay Pata Chala K Saray Fasad Ki Jarh TUM Ho..!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
JAHAN KI GHURBAT MAI SUKON NAHI AAEGA
GHUM-E-TAUHEEN SE QUBOOL NAHI AAEGA
MAQLOOL KI FITRAT HAI E KAFIR
DIMAG KI DAHI HO JAEGI PR YEH SHER SAMAJH NAHI AAEGA…
___________________________________________________________________________________
Kaun Kahta Hai Ki Budhape Mei Ishq Nahi Hota..
Kaun Kahta Hai Ki Budhape Mei Ishq Nahi Hota..
Darasal Baat Ye Hai Ki BUDDHO Par Kisiko Shaq Nahi Hota…
___________________________________________________________________________________
When I Was Younger I Hated Going To Weddings … It Seemed That All Of My
Aunts And The Grandmotherly Types Used To Come Up To Me, Poking Me In The
Ribs And Cackling, Telling Me, ‘You’re Next.’
They Stopped That Stuff After I Started Doing The Same Thing To Them At
Funerals…..
___________________________________________________________________________________
A Train Is Bout2 Crash. A Frantic Virgin Strips Off N Says:
‘’ Can Anyone Make Me Feel Like A Woman B4 I Die?’’
So A Man Takes Off His Clothes N Say,’’Iron These!’’
___________________________________________________________________________________
Boy: I’m Not Rich Like Rahul, I Don’t Even Have A Big Car Like Rahul, But I Really Luv U!
Girl: I Luv U Too, But Tell Me More About Rahul.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Question : Why Do Girls Close
Their Eyes While Kissing A Guy?
Guess…
Guess
.
.
.
Answer : Yeh Ladkiyan Ladkon
Ko Kabhi Khush Nahi Dekh Sakti.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Tcher: How Old Is Ur Father. Sunny: As Old As I M. Tcher: How Is It Possible? Sunny: He Bcom Father Only After I Was Born.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Aap Din Ko Raat Kaho To Hum Raat Kahenge
Aap Subah Ko Shaam Kaho To Hum Shaam Kahenge
Kyun Ke Hum
Paaglon Se Behas Nahi Karte.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Why Sardar Study In Front Of Mirror??????
1) It Saves Revision Time…..
2) He Likes Combined Studies…..
3) Lastly He Wants Someone To Keep An Eye On Him…..
___________________________________________________________________________________
Ladki Patane Ka Tarika “Use Gudgudi Karo Agar Hasi To Samzo Fasi Lekin Palat K Chata Mar De To Zor Zor Se Chillao ” Didi Dar Gayi Didi Dar Gayi”.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Ye Kala Rang Aapka Khuda Ki Dein Hai
Ye Kala Rang Aapka Khuda Ki Dein Hai
Woh To Til Bana Raha Tha Ki Syahi Phisal Gayi!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Sardar To His Friend :
I Kiss My Wife Everyday Before I Go To Office & U >
Friend : I Kiss Your Wife After U Go To Office
Sardar : Haha Ha I Kiss 1st..
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Boy Propose To A Girl ::- Do You Love Me.>
Girl- Shakal Dekhi Hai Apni.
Isse Acha To Main Mar Jana Pasand Karoongi
Boy – Kamini Mar Jayegi Par Ek
Garib Ke Kaam Nahin Aayegi..
___________________________________________________________________________________
Date Pai Ghalib Apni Grl Frnd Ka Wait Kar Rahai Thai Grl Frnd Kai Dair Sai Anai Par Farmaya……
Falak Kai Sitaroun Ko Neend Arahi Hai..
Pagal Ki Bachii Tou Ab Arahi Hai ….
___________________________________________________________________________________
Clerk Ne Office Fone Karke Boss Se Kaha: Sir Mai 1 Week Tak Office Nahi Aaonga, Meri Bewi Taang Torr Bethi Hai..
Boss: (Gusse Me) Magar 1 Week Tak TUM Kion Nahi Aaogey.?
Clerk: Actualy Sir Aap Samjhe Nahi, Meri Bewi Ne Jo Taang Torri Hai,
“WOH MERI HAI”
___________________________________________________________________________________
New Punishment 4 Cell Owners
Missed Cal Ke Liye JAIL.
Sms K Liye FAASI.
Call K Liye UMRKAID
Aap Mat Daro
KANJUSO Ko To Inaam Hai.
___________________________________________________________________________________
PARH LIKH KAR KIYA KARNA HAI,
AKHIR AIK DIN SAB KO MARNA HAI,
MAR KAR AGAR JANAM LIYA TO,
PHIR SALA NUSERY SE HI PARHNA HAI
___________________________________________________________________________________
Sardar Travelling 1st Time In A Plain,Going 2 Bengalore.While It’s Landing He Shouted
“Bangalore, Bangalore”
Air Hostess Said:”B Silent”[/B
Sardar:”Angalore, Angalore”
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Gal: Is Dress Ka Kya Price Hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 Kiss.
Girl: Aur Us Dress Ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 Kiss.
Girl: Dono Dress Pack Kar Do, Bill Dadi Dengi.
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Santa: Is Operation Se Mujhe Kuchh Ho Gaya To Isi Doctor Se Shadi Kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise Kyo Kah Rahe Ho?
Santa: Doctor Se Badla Lene Ka Yehi 1 Rasta Hai!
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Interviewer: Aap Kisi MAHILA Mein Sabse Pehle Kya Dekhte Hain?
Santa: O Ji, Wo Is Baat Par Depend Karta Hai Ki Woh Aa Rahi Hai Ya Jaa Rahi Hai?
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Sardarji Is Filling Up A Job Application………………………
He Promptly Fills In The Lines On Name, Age, Addr,& Etc.
Then Came The Column Salary Expected…………………
After Much Thought He Writes: Yes………………………..
___________________________________________________________________________________
Wat Is D Name Of Jackie Chan’s Mother In Law?
…..?????
…..?????
…..?????
Guess…
…..
Think….
…..
Nahi Janate???????
????????
Mai Batau????
????????
Ok….
VICKS VAPORUB….
CHEN KI SAA(N)S….
___________________________________________________________________________________
Doctor To His Girlfriend…..
Khat Likh Raha Hun Khun Se, Ink Mat Samzana
Khat Likh Raha Hun Khun Se, Ink Mat Samzana
Kisi Mariz Ka Liya Tha Mera Mat Samzana!!!!!!
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Kumble Starts Reaising His Bet On 40 Runs.. Sachin Asks Him, Its Not A 50 Or 100!
Kumble Replies: Only An Engineer Can Understand The Difficulty Of Scoring 40…..
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Lalu Prasad Yadav, Vajpayee And U Were Going In A Boat… Suddenly An Accident Occured…. Who Will Escape?????
INDIA WILL ESCAPE…….
___________________________________________________________________________________
Tusi Bade Hi Smart Ho,
Rasgulle Ki Plate Ho,
Pepsi Ka Crete Ho,
Ande Ka Aamlet Ho,
SMS Karne Me Bade Let Ho,
Jalebi Ki Tarah Strat Ho,
Tussi Kheer Ki Tarah,
Mere Fevret Ho…Samjhe
___________________________________________________________________________________
Aaj Meri Taraf Se Aap Ko 1 PUPPY
Aap K Bhai Ko Bhi 1 PUPPY
Chalo Aap Ki Mama Ko Bhi 1 PUPPU
Aur Aap Ki Sweet Sii Sister Ko Bhi 1 PUPPY
Kyoon K
Aaj Hi Meray Dosy Ne 10 PUPPIES Ko Janum Diya Hai
___________________________________________________________________________________
U R
70% Beauty
75% Sweet
85% Naughty
90% Cute
100%Lovely
TOTALLY 70+75+85+90+100= U R 420
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Last Night I Lay On My Bed
Watching The Beautiful Moon And Stars
Then Suddenly I Thought
Where The Hell Is My Roof?
___________________________________________________________________________________
AMERICAN :”OUR DOG FIND BOMS”
JAPANIES: ” OUR FISH PLAY FOOT BALL”
INDIAN: YE TO KUCH BHI NAHI HAI YAAR………………………………
… HUMARE TO GADHE BHI WORDCUP KHELTE HAIN.
___________________________________________________________________________________
WHENEVER I WANT UR PRESENCE,
I READ YOUR SMS……………….
WHENEVER I WANT TO SEE YOU,
I CLOSE MY EYES………………….
WHENEVER I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE,
KUTTE KO PATHAR MAAR DETA HOOON………..
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It’s Funny When People Discuss Love Marriage Vs Arranged.
It’s Like Asking Someone, If Suicide Is Better Or Being Murdered.
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Log Kehte Hain Ki Khuda Ne Aapko Badi Fursat Mein Banaaya Hai…
Theek Hi Kehte Hain, Faltoo Kaam Fursat Mein Hi To Kiye Jaate Hain.
___________________________________________________________________________________
I Asked My New Girlfriend What Sort Of Books She’s Interested In, She Said: Check Books.
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At The Scene Of An Accident A Man Was Crying: O God! I Hv Lst My Hand, Oh!
Santa: Control Urself. Don’t Cry. See That Man. He Has Lost His Head. Is He Crying?
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3+3=8
Bataao Kaise
.
.
…..

…..
…………
.
.
.
.
.
Ary Baba Galti Se
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Q: What Four Letter Word Starts With F And Ends With K And If A Man Can’t Get It He Uses His Hands?
!
!
F
.
.
.
.
O
.
.
.
.
R
.
.
.
.
K
.
.
.
.
A: FORK
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Chinku: What Kind Of A Wife Do You Want?
?
?
Pappu: Exactly Like Moon; Which Appears In The Night And Disappears In The Morning!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Tumhare Liye Hum Aasman Se Taare Tor Kar Laayenge…..
Tum Seedhiyo Ka Intezaam Karna Upar Hum Chadh Jaayenge.
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Fizao Main Tum Ho Hawao Main Tum Ho,
Baharo Main Tum Ho, Ghatao Main Tum Ho,
Dhoop Main Tum Ho, Chao Main Tum Ho,
Kyunki Sach Hi Suna Tha,
Ke Shaitan Ka Koi Tikhana Nahi Hota.
___________________________________________________________________________________
K%3M
K6fmin
JOTH.+
@Mw.58
#Amptnm
Kitne Sweet Ho, Kuch Bhi Bhejo Pyar Se Parhne Lag Jate Ho.
So Sweet.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Wife : Tum Mujhe Kitna Pyar Karte Ho?
Husband : Shah Jahan Jitna?
Wife : To Mere Marne Ke Baad Taj Mehal Banaoge?
Husband : Maine To Plot Bhi Liya Hain , Deley To Tum Kar Rahi Ho.
___________________________________________________________________________________
CAN U ANSWER ANY OF D QUESTIONS????????
LETS SEE……………
Q. RAM SITA HAI … TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ans – . TAILOR ( Darzi )
Q. Ques – .SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sita MEMORY Hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q- Prasad Ask’s Kumble To Bring A Pepsi… Kumble Brings A Bottle Of Pepsi But Goes Directly To Tendulkar.
?
?
?Why ?? Why ?? :-
?
?
?
?
Tendulkar Is An Opener
Q. The Madrasi Said, I Want To See The Movie ‘Heart Is Umbrella’.
Which Movie Did He Really Want To See?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dil Chhata Hai!
7 . Q: Woh Kya Hai Jo Dil Main Hain, Mann Main Hai Par Dhadkan Main Nahi?
?
Socho Socho
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
8. What Will! U Call A Person Who Is Leaving India??
?
?
?
Socho……………
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
9. Kalidas Ka Ek Bhai Joote Banata Tha Us Ka Naam Kya Tha……………………………….

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Answer) Adidas
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Dekha Tujhe To Ruh Khush Ho Gayi,
Ek Kahani Thi Jo Poori Ho Gayi,
Pagal The Wo Log Jo Kehte Hain,
Chimpanzee Ki Aakhri Nasal Kahin Gum Ho Gayi Hai!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Kabhi Kabhar Choti Choti Cheezain Bhi Bohat Taklef Deti Hain
Yaqeen Na Aye To SUI Per Beth K Dekhao
___________________________________________________________________________________
Kisi Se Nahi Kaha Tere Fasaney Ko
Janey Kasay Khaber Ho Gai Zamaney Ko
Gattar Band Ho Gya Sarey Shehar Ka
Kis Ne Kaha Tha Thumain Nahaney Ko
___________________________________________________________________________________
Once Sardar Calls Her Wife N Said: Main Aj Gher Nai Aa Sakda Car Da Stering Te Dash Board Chori Ho Gaya Hai….
After Sometime He Called Again N Said: Main Aa Raya Aan Pehly Main Peechli Seat Te Beh Gaya Si
___________________________________________________________________________________
When I Open My Eyes Every Morning I Pray To God
That Everyone Should Have A Friend Like You….
Why Should Only I Suffer!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Aapne Mujhe Dekha
Fir Se Dekha
Ek Aur Baar Dekha
Dekhte Hi Rahe
Fir Kya…Mujhe Toh Tumhe Bhikh Deni Hi Padi
___________________________________________________________________________________
Today, Tommorow And Forever There Will Be One Heart That Would Always Beat For You.
You Know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Your Girlfriend Is:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
In Short She Is Your S.I.S.T.E.R.
___________________________________________________________________________________
BEST THREE COMEDY LINES IN OUR COLLEGE LIFE:
1. DONT DISTURB I WANT TO STUDY………
2.NO CLASS LETS GO TO LIBRARY…….
AND THE BEST ONE IS…………..
3. SIR I HAVE A DOUBT……
___________________________________________________________________________________
Tabiyat Theek Nahi Thi, 1 Baba Ko Dikhaya,
Baba Ne Kaha: Tum Per Bhoot Ka Saya Hai.
Kisi Shetaan Ko SMS Karo Theek Ho Jaoge
Aap Ko Sms Kartey Hi Acha Feel Ho Raha Hia:P
___________________________________________________________________________________
Raat Bhar Sms Kiya
To Raat Kat Gayi…(Wah Wah)
Raat Bhar Sms Kiya
To Raat Kat Gayi…*
*Subah Uthke Balance Dekha
To Waat Lag Gayi.*
___________________________________________________________________________________
Lady To Doctor;Mera Beeta Motorcycle Say Gir Gaya Hai.
Dr;Mujhy Urdu Nahi Ati English Main Baat Kejiay;
Lady;My Londa Gironda From Hero Honda.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Ladki Ek Aisi Paheli Hai,
Kabhi Teri To Kabhi Meri Saheli Hai,
Kharcha Karo O Bolegi: Darling I Love You,
Na Karo To Bolegi: Brother Who Are You???
___________________________________________________________________________________
(1) Dad: D Girl Whom I Showed U Is Roopvati, Gunvati & Dhanvati. So U Shoud Marry Her.
Son: But D Girl Whom I Love Is GARBHVATI So I Must Marry Her
========================================
============(2) Aankho Mein “SHARAFAT”
Chaal Main”NAJAKAT”
Dil Me”SACHCHAI”
Aur Chehre Me”SAFAI”
Phir Kyon Na Bole Har Ladki Apko “BHAI” . . . . . . .====================================================(3) Santa-Yaar Ladkì Ko I Love U Kehne Ki Sabse Achi Jagh Kaun Si Hai?
Banta-Mandir.
Santa-Kyon?
Banta-Kyunki Vahan Unho Ne Chapal Nahi Pehni Hoti.
====================================================
(4) Sardar:Shirt K Liye Koi Badhiya Kapda Dikaho?
Salesman:Plain Me Dikha Du?
Sardar:Abe!Hawaai Jahaaj Me Jaane Ki Kya Zarurat Hai Yahi Par Dikha Do.
====================================================
(5) Aayi Thi Meri Kabra Pe Diya Jalane Ke Liye.
Aayi Thi Meri Kabra Pe Diya Jalane Ke Liye.
Pada Hua Tel Bhi Le Gayi,
Tadka Lagane Ke Liye…!!
Wah Wah…
====================================================
(6) Boy- Chalo!! Kisi Viran Jagah Chalte Hai…!
Girl-Tum Aisi Vaisi Harkat To Nahi Karoge Na…?
Boy-Bilkul Nahi!
Girl-Fir Kya Fayda…….Rehne Do….!!
====================================================
(7) SANTA Gifted A Card To His Dad On His B’day With A Sher:
“Phul To Bahut He Par Gulab Jesa Koi Nahi,Papa To Bahut Hai Par Aap Jaisa Koi Nahi.”
====================================================
(8) If RELIANCE GROUP Launches A DIAPER. What Will B D Slogan?
“AB KARLO SUSSU CHADDI MEIN”, Dhirubhai Ka Sapna,Har Langoti Mein Diaper Apna!
====================================================
___________________________________________________________________________________
AAPKI KASHISH…….
SARFAROSH HAI…………………
Wah Wah….. Wah Wah
?
?
?
?
AAPKA NASHA………………………
YUN MADHOSH HAI……………….
Bahot Khub……
?
?
?
?
KYA KAHEIN TUMSE JANE JAAN………..
..
..
.
..
..
..
..
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
..
.
..
..
..
..
.
.
..
..
.
..
.
.
.
TU KHARGOSH HAI…
___________________________________________________________________________________
From Mon To Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From Birth Till My Death,
My Feelings 4 U Have Never Changed.
For Me, You’ve Always Been
……….A Headache!
___________________________________________________________________________________
I Chased Love I Found Friendship,I Chased Desires I Found Hopes, I Chased Reality I Found Dreams,I Chased A Monkey And I Found You.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Husband Asks, Do You Know The Meaning Of WIFE.
It Means…
Without
Information
Fighting
Everytime!
WIFE Satys No, It Means -
With
Idiot
For
Ever
___________________________________________________________________________________
Evolution Of Man:
Shadi Se Pahale: HERO No. 1
Shadi Ke Baad: COOLIE No. 1
Shadi Se Pahale: Meine Pyar Kiya
Shadi Ke Bad: Yeh Meine Kya Kiya
___________________________________________________________________________________
YOU Are Very Cute Becos In My Dictionary Cute Means…
C – Causing
U – Un-Necessary
T – Trouble
E – Everywhere
___________________________________________________________________________________
QUES:
How Was Nissar Bhai Born?
ANS:
Jawani Janeman.
.
.
.
Hassen Dilruba.
.
.
.
Mile Do Dil Jawan.
.
.
.
NISSAR Ho Gaya!!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Andhe Ke Hath Me “TORCH”,
Bahare Ke Hath Me “RADIO”,
Gunge Ke Hath Me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Zamana Aaya Hai!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Love
Easy To Say – Difficult To Stay..
Beautiful To Feel – Difficult To Deal…
Difficulty Is A Part Of Life…
But That’s The Reason…
Why Girlfriend Is Never A Wife?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Ill Ask A Que U Should Answer Only By Saying Yes Or No.
Here Is The Que…
Do Ur Parents Know That U R A Mental Patient?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Man On Death Bed Confesses 2 His Wife- I Had An Affair With Ur Sister,Ur Best Friend,& The Maid. Wife— I Know Darling.Now Relax & Let The Poison Work!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Question: There Is Always A DRIVE SLOW Board Near Boys College But Not Near Girls College..Why??
Answer: Because Vehicles Slowdown There Automatically!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
The Rain Makes All Things Beautiful. The Grass & Flowers 2. If Rain Makes All Things Beautiful Why Doesn’t It Rain On You?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Why Do Couples Hold Hands During Their Wedding Day?.?.?.?…. It Is Just A Formality, Like Two Boxers Shaking Hands B4 The Fight Begins !
___________________________________________________________________________________
MAMU :Oye, Maar Gayea Yaar. Meri Biwi Aur Premika Saath Saath Aa Rehla Hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, Mein Bhi Yehi Bolnewala Tha.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Pappu, While Filling Up A Form: Dad, What Should I Write For Mother
Tongue.?
Santa: Very Long!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
You Should Know What You Are,
And Once You Know What You Are,
Mental Hospital Is Not So Far.
___________________________________________________________________________________
A Small Kid Wrote To Santa Clause, “Send Me A Brother”. Santa Wrote Back, “Send Me Ur Mother”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Girl : Mom, I M In Love With A Guy.. Mom Shocked : How Old Is The Boy & What Is He Doing Girl : 3 Month & Kicking Happily In My Stomach..
___________________________________________________________________________________
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Teri Girl Friend Gayi Bazar
Us Ko Mil Gaya Doosra Pyar
Ab Tu Beth Ker Makhyan Maaar
___________________________________________________________________________________
Yaar Aaj Ka Din Bada Fuddu Hai….
Fuddu Se Yaad Aaya
Kaisa Hai Tu..!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Wife: I Will Die
Husband: I Will Also Die
Wife: Why U Want 2 Die ?
Husband: Becoz Main Itni Khushi Bardasht Nahi Ker Sakta!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chai Wala: Bholi Si Surat Ankhon Mein Masti Duur Khari Sharmay Aay Hay!!
Girl Reply: Kali Si Surat Hath Mein Ketli Duur Khara Chilaey Chai Chai!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Boy: Main Tumsay Shadi Tu Kerloon Magar Meray Ghar Walay Nahi Maan Rahay
Girl: Kon Kon Hai Tumharay Ghar Mein ?
Boy: 1 Wife 2 Bachay
___________________________________________________________________________________
Two Lover Went For Socide Boy Jumps First After Boy Jump Gilr Close Her Eyez N Turn Back N Say Pyaar Andha Hota Hai During Jumps Boy Open His Perashoot N Say Pyaar Kabhi Merta Nahi
___________________________________________________________________________________
Close Ur Eyes…
Think Abt Ur Self
Ur Face,
Ur Style,
Ur Nature,
Ur Looks,
Now Open Ur Eyes..
U Hv Jus Spent Half A Minute Watching A
Horror Movie!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
You R So..
S
Art!
M
S Art!
S Art!
M
S Artm!
Samrt!
Ms Art!
Sma
Rt!
Bus Rehnay Do Tum Per Fit Hi Nahi Ho Raha
___________________________________________________________________________________
Jangal Mein Mangal Teray Hi Dum Se Sab Ne Ya Shor Machaya Hai
Wah Re Monkey Tughay Aj Insaan Ka “SMS” Aaya Hai
___________________________________________________________________________________
Sweet Socho
Smart Socho
Aacha Socho
Pyara Socho
I Know Its Dificult For U!
I Have Shortcut For U!
Only Meray Baray Mein Socho
___________________________________________________________________________________
Yaad Rakhna
Subah Uth Kar 2 Kaam Yaad Se Roz Kia Karen
1) ALLAH Ka Shukar Ada Kia Karen Ta K Ap Zinda Reh Saken
2) LUX Se Nahaya Karen Ta K Dosre B Zinda Reh Saken
___________________________________________________________________________________
A Computer Teacher Asks A Student : Wat Are Da 3 Latest Java Versions
Student: Mar Java, Mit Java, Lut Java Ishq Main Dil Kya Jaan Bhi Naam Teray Kar Java O Java Java.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Yaad Hay Ham Pehli Baar Kahan Milay Thay…
Train Ruki..
Khirki Khuli..
Nazron Say Nazrain Mili..
Aur Aap Nain Kaha..
ALLAH Kay Naam Pay Dayday Baba
___________________________________________________________________________________
If People Say U R <Crazy> Be Patient
U R <Idiot> Relax
U R <Stupid> Be Cool
But If They Say U R <Intelligent> Rakh Kay Thappar Lagana Salooon Ko Mazak Ki Bhi Koi Had Hoti Hay
___________________________________________________________________________________
Boy: Main Tumko Without Touch Kiya KISS Karonga
Girl: Ya Tu Impossible Hai
Boy: Lag Gai 20 20 Rupay Ki ?
Girl: Ok
Boy KISSED Girl Titely!
Girl: Tumnay Tu Mughay Touch Kia
Boy: Ya Lo 20 Rupay
___________________________________________________________________________________
Mainay Kaha “Dil Ruba”
Usne Kaha “Balance Bhejwa”
Mainay Kaha “Paisay Nahi”
Usne Kaha “Kaise Nahi”
Maine Kaha “Mehngai Hai”
Usne Kaha “Ja Aj Say Tu Mera BHAI Hai”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Larkay Walay: Ap Ki Beti Ka Naam Kya Hai
Larki Walay: Ap Ki Pyari, Humari Pyari Sab Ki Pyari, Ram Pyari.
Larki Walay: Ap K Betay Ka Naam Kya Hai
Larkay Walay: Ap Ka Gu Humara Gu Sab Ka Gu Jaggu.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Some One Misses U
Some One Needs U
Someone Luvs U
Guess Who??????????????
Its D Monkey In D ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hello Budhu!
B=Best
U=Understanding
D=Decent
H=Honest
U=Unforgetable
Now You R Smiling ?
Waqaii BUDHU Ho
___________________________________________________________________________________
Plz Smoke Daily.
Oh!
You R Getting Me Wrong .
I Mean .
S= Send
M=Ne
O=One
K=Kool Sms
E=Every Day
So Dont Forget To.
SMOKE
___________________________________________________________________________________
A Chines Couple Mr.& Mrs Hua Got Twins Without Mariage Wat Did They Name Them ?
Dey Name Them
“Jo Hua, So Hua”
___________________________________________________________________________________
2 Bachey Jungle Mai Pooti Kar Rahey Hotay Hain
Dono Ko Sher (Lion) Ki Awaz Ati Hai.
1st Bacha: Tuje Darr Lag Raha Hai Kia
2nd Bacha: Nahi To
1st Bacha: To Phir Apni Dhoo Na Meri Kyun Dhoo Raha Hai
___________________________________________________________________________________
Agar 5 Min Mein Tumhara SMS Nahi Aya
To
To
To
Aj Say Hamari Dosti Khatam
Aur
Kal Say Phir Shuru
___________________________________________________________________________________
Who’s HOT?
It’s U.
Who’s Charming?
It’s U.
Who’s Sweetest?
It’s U.
Who’s Smart?
It’s U.
Who’s Darling Of Millions?
It’s U.
Zyada Uchlo Mat Yeh SMS Mughay Aaya Tha
___________________________________________________________________________________
Gabbar: Aray O Sambha Yeh SMS Perhnay Wala Monkey Hai Ya Donkey ?
Sambha: Abhi Pata Chal Jaey Ga Agar SMS Ka Reply Kia Tu Monkey Nahi Kia Tu Donkey
___________________________________________________________________________________
Eak Sardar Army Mein Tha Tu Army Mein Sab Ko New AK47 Degai
Sardar: Sir Ya Samny Ki Taraf Ker K Chalaygi Ya Apni Taraf ?
Officer: Jahaan Merzi Ker K Chaloo Dono Suraton Mein Desh Ka Hi Faida Hoga
___________________________________________________________________________________
A Man Kills A DEER N Cooks It & Doesnt Tell Kids What It Is.
He Gives A Clue “Its Something Your Mom Calls Me”.. Son Screans: “Dont Eat It KUTTA Hai”
___________________________________________________________________________________
A Serdar Went To Museum,
There He Broke A Statue.
OFFICER: Uuu Have Broken A 5000 Yrs Old Statue!!
Sardar: Thank God !
Menu Laga Naya Si
___________________________________________________________________________________
Baby! Baby! Yes Mama
Eating Sugar No Mama
Ka Panjabi Edition
Rano! Rano
Han Baybay!
Khand Phakki Aa?
Na Baybay
Jhoot Mariya?
Na Baybay
Aud Bootha!
Ha Ha Ha
___________________________________________________________________________________
82uv 4u5 Vn2v N22
3vn 29v 2v8n 2b5
92v098 5b92 02
8n5v 25
V 32n5 329 B 35
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nai Samaj Ai? Koi Bat Nai.
Agay Sen Kerdo
Q Ki
Tension Lene Ka Nai Dene Ka.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Sardar Complaint To Police: Sir, All Items In My House R Missing Except TV
Police: Why Thief Didn’t Stole The TV?
Sardar: Because I Am Watching TV Naa.
Press Down 7 Times To Become Sweeet……
Tusi V Na …?
Pehlay Hee Innay Sweet O …. Fir V Press Keeti Ja Ray O….
___________________________________________________________________________________
Year 1927 …
November 18th …
Evening …
Exactly At 20:27 Pm …
Kuch Nahi Hoa Tha Tum Apna Kaam Karo .. ; )
___________________________________________________________________________________
Q: Watz The Differnce B/W Aadmi And Aurat ?
Ans: Aurat Aik Hee Aadmi Say Bohat Sari Umeed Kerti Hai,
Aur
Aadmi Bohat Sari Aurton Say Aik Hee Umeed Kerta Hai.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Janay Anjanay Mein Ager Mein Nay Aap Ka Dil Dukhaya Ho ,
Kabhi Tang Kia Ho ,
Badtameezi Ki Ho ,
Us K Liyay Aap Say
Jo Ho Sakta Hai Kerlo , Mein Sudharnay Walon Mein Say Nahi
___________________________________________________________________________________
Boy: Jab Mein Chota Sa Tha Tab Main Minaar-E-Pakistan Say Gir Gaya Tha!
Girl: Acha Tu Phir Kia Hoa Tha ?
Boy: Mughay Kia Pata Main Tu Chota Sa Tha
___________________________________________________________________________________
1 Boy Went To Meet His GF.
When He Came Back Home, Mom Asked
“Kahan Gaye The?” Boy- “Usse Milne..”
Mom-”Kisliye??”
Boy – “Haan,Bahot Kiss Liye”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Grl: Mei Tumhare Lye Sub Chore Doon Gi.
Boy: Maa Bap?
Grl: Yes
Boy: Khana Peena?
Grl: Yes
Boy: Apni Dostein?
Grl: Yes
Boy: Star Plus?
Grl: Moun Sambhal K Baat Karo !!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hawa Mein Urna Parindo Ka Style
Zameen Per Chalna Insano Ka Style
SMS Kerna Hamara Style
Muft Mein Perhna Tumhara Style
___________________________________________________________________________________
Eak Sharabi Eyes Donate Kernay Gaya After Operation,
Doctor Ask: Kuch Kehna Chahtay Ho ?
Sharabi: Jis Ko Bhi Laga Ous Ko Keh Dena Ya 2 Pack K Baad Khulti Hain…
___________________________________________________________________________________
Girl’s Father: Main Nahi Chahta K Meri Beti Apni Puri Zindagi Eak Gadhe K Sath Guzare.
Boyfriend: Bus Esi Leay Main Ussay Yahaan Se Le Jane Aya Hon.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Tharo Sms Jab Aavay Hai,
Maro Rom Rom Machal Jaway Hai.
Morar Ang Ang Mein Gud Gudi Howay Hai.
Tharo Sms Ka Kasoor Nahin.
Maro Mobile Vibration Per Hovay Hai.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Some1 Asks Me Wht Is Humanity,
I Wud Sit Next 2u,
Pull U Close 2 Me,
Put My Arms Around U
N Say Proudly,
Dis Is Humanity..
Lovin ANIMALS..!
___________________________________________________________________________________
1 Guy Suddenly Got Up In A Plane
N Sed ‘Hijack’
Everybody Put Thr Hands Up.
Thn Suddenly Another Guy
From Other Side Got Up N Sed
*
*
*
*
‘Hijohn’
___________________________________________________________________________________
Sitaron Se Agey Jahan Aur Bhi Hein,
Abhi Mohabbat K Imthan Aur Bhi Hein,
Tum Hi Nehi Jalatey Mere Dil Ko,
College Mein Ladkiyan Aur Bhi Hein
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chand Se Pyari Chandni.
Chandni Say Pyari Raat.
Raat Say Pyari Zindagi.
Zindagi Say Pyaray Tum.
Tum Say Pyaray Hum…
___________________________________________________________________________________
I Love Three Things
1=Pizza
2=Pepsi
3=You
Reasons:
Pizza To Eat
Pepsi To Drink
Nd You Table Kon Saaf Karega:D
___________________________________________________________________________________
Sardar Looked Himself In Miror & Said “Isko Kahidekha Hai.”Then He Said “YAAD AYA,” Ye To Wahi Kamina Hai Jo Meri Shaadi Ki Album Me Meri BIWI K SATH HAI
___________________________________________________________________________________
Wife: Darling Today Is Our Anniversary, What Should We Do?
Husband: Let Us Stand In Silence For 2 Minutes.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Wife: Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Man: Makkhiya Maar Rha Hu.
Wife: Kitni Mari?
Man: 3 Male Aur 2 Female.
Wife: Kaise Malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 Daru Ki Botal Se Chipki Thi Or 2 Phone Se…
___________________________________________________________________________________
Teacher: Agar Apna Character Sudharna Hai To Sab Auraton Ko MAA Kaha Karo.
Student: Madam Is Se Mera Character To Theek Rahega, Par Mere Baap Ka Bigad Jayega.
___________________________________________________________________________________
If U Don’t Mind
If U Don’t Feel Bad
If Don’t Hesitate
Please……
Give Me A
K
Ki
Kis
Kiss
Kissan Jam Bottle
Just RS.22.50 Only. Soon……
___________________________________________________________________________________
You Are A GHONCHU..
G-Reat
H-Ot
O-Ne In Million
N-Aughty
C-Ute
H-Umble
U-Nique
Zyada Khush Mat Ho, Hai To Tu Ghonchu Hi…
___________________________________________________________________________________
MACHAR MARNE KA TAREEQA:
1. PEHLE AIK ZINDA MACHAR PAKRE
2. PHIR USSE ZAMEEN PER LETA DE
3. PHIR USSE GUDGUDE KARAIN,JAISE WO HANSNE K LEYE MU KHOLE
USSE MORTEIN PILA DE.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Someday U May Lose Ur Hair..
U May Lose Ur Teeth,
Ur Money & Even Ur Mind.
But There Is 1 Thing U Will Never Lose…
N That Is Ur Good Looks!
Coz…
U Cant Lose What U Never Had!
___________________________________________________________________________________


HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further
M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE….

 

When i open my eyes 
every morning i pray to God 
that 
everyone should have a friend like you.... 
Why should only i suffer!!!


One day Santa"s Girlfriend asks him," 
"Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?" 
"Santa: Ya sure," 
"Give me ur Telephone No."


When I was born? 
Devil said...Oh Shit!!! 
Another GOD!!!.. 

When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!! 
Competition...!!! ....

 


Fill in the blank... 
I"m ur .....friend."

"a)-Cute" 
"b)-Sweet" 
"c)-Loving" 
"d)-Boy/Girl" 
"e)-Best of all Reply is a must.."


Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE 
C-Come, 
O-On, 
L-Lets, 
L-Love, 
E-Each, 
G-Girl, 
E-Equally...... 
Thats why boys go to college regularly....
Who said english is easy???



 Fill in the blank with YES or No...
 1.-----I don"t have brain..."
 2.-----I dont have sence..."
 3.-----I am stupid..."


  If ur world is spining
  Round & Round..& Round....
  Ur heart is beating fast,
  do u think its LOVE?
   na Munna na its called high B/P...

  Merry Christmas,
  Enjoy New Year,
  Happy Easter,
  Good luck on Valentines,
  Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday

  Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

Boy1 : Meet my wife Tina
Boy2. Oh! I know her
Boy1: How?
Boy2: v were caught sleeping together
Boy1: What the hell?
Boy2. during lecture in maths class

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